For Our Sons And Daughters

A few weeks ago my son came up to me and said, "Umm, so dad, I'm going to a gay bar with friends tonight to see a drag queen that will be here for tonight only." We stood there looking at each other for what felt like an eternity. I started having flashbacks to when he was little and remembering all the things that I and his mother taught him. Now that he is a grown man and making decisions on his own it's difficult to find words to say when he chooses to do something that goes against his upbringing. The only words that came to mind was simply, "Well, be safe."

The issue I was having was really not a safety thing. It was more of me not being able to relate to my son very well. I mean...what do you really say? My mind draws to that moment when I think about the tragic events in Orlando last week. I think of those men and women who were gunned down because they wanted to be with those that have gone and are going through many of the same tough life decisions. And then I think about the fathers having the same conversation with their sons and daughters that I had with mine. I wonder what they said to them that day. Did they draw a blank? Was the only thing they could come up with was, "Well, be safe"? I cant imagin the heartbreak and heartache they went through later that night knowing that was the last conversation they had with their child. My heart aches for them.

As fathers we share a bond. As fathers of gay children we share an even tighter bond. We are in this together. We are one. The loss of their sons and daughters were our loss as well. I hope that together we can draw strength to not only help them through difficult times but to help us as parents get through it as well. So on this day, Father's Day, I want to stand together with the fathers whose sons and daughters did not come home that night. Whose hearts are now broken. We are here for you and may God, the Father of us all, bare you up and help you on your way to healing and forgiveness.