Writing to Heal

My main focus with my blog is to express thoughts on the topic of healing. I have found that when I write down all the pains and emotions that I am going through they tend not to linger around. It's therapeutic. In fact there is a website called writingtoheal.com that tells how to write down your thoughts and feelings effectively so you can heal and be able to let certain pains from this life go. It's an absolute amazing thing. To be able to let go and be free.

I have struggled, as most of my friends know, from a very painful divorce. I limped along in life after I left the comforts of my own home to a life of so much uncertainty and doubt. I tried to figure out how I was going to be able to overcome those thoughts of guilt that completely bogged me down. Guilt you ask? Well most divorces don't just happen because two people fall out of love with each other. There usually is someone or both in a marriage that has done something wrong to warrant the end of the union. I'm not here to discuss it but to discuss the need to heal from it.

I have often wondered how I was going to rid myself of all the misery that I put myself into. How was I going to heal? How was I going to be "whole" and what does being "whole" mean anyway? I have a friend that talks constantly about her healing and how "whole" she is now. I long for the personal revelation to what that means in my life and how I will be able to say it about me. She does yoga. Do I have to do yoga too to be whole? Heaven forbid. I have a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning. She eats sushi. Sushi? Please. If it ain't deep fried I'm not touching fish, well, at least cooked.

Since my separation I have found many new friends and for one reason or another they tell me about the problems and pains that they are going through. It is so easy to express problems with others who are also going through hardships. It's like we relate to each other and I am so grateful for my friends both new and old. You have been there for me in my trials and have helped me tremendously. I only hope I have been there for you as well. I have found a place in my heart for you and long for your recovery as much as my own.

So that leads me to what I would like to discuss. I'm very interested in hearing what you have done in your lives to overcome those things that have brought you down in your life. Whether it was something you did or has happened to you from the fault of others, death, depression and so forth. I'm not looking to know what your problems are or were as much as I am looking to learn how you healed. Was it a close friend who gave you advise and who's shoulder you cried on, was it a song you heard, council from a spiritual adviser, religion, yoga, prayer? Whatever?

For me, I still long to be completely healed. To be whole. To be able to wake up some morning and know that I am loved. That I am happy. That I am forgiven. That I am not bogged down by memories of my personal failures. I'm not there yet but firmly believe I am on the right path. And at the end of this path I am finally able to let go, live and be free.

In The Beginning

Well, here we go. My very first attempt at blogging. Never thought I would become a blogger. Who knows, I may do it this once and be done with it forever or this may be the first of many. Either way I am going to do it. I have spent way to many nights sitting at home thinking of things that I want to do only to be destracted by that blooming boob tube only 7 feet from where i'm sitting. Time to turn that thing off (well, until Lost starts up again). So bare with me, this is all new.

Speaking of new, I am about to embark on a new path in my life. After 14 years of marriage, a painful divorce and plenty of therapy sessions I am about to start dating again. As Charlie Brown would say "Oh Good Grief". It has been a long time since I dated. I can't even remember who it was with, well, besides my ex of course or even where we went or did. Knowing me it was just a dinner and a movie. I'm sure the dating scene has changed quite drastically over these last 15 years or so.

To be honest, I'm nervous. How am I going to act? What should I ware? Jeans or khakis? Well, I guess the answers to those questions are just to simply be me. If she doesn't like "just me" then why is she going out with me to begin with, right? What if I do something stupid? Say something stupid? Ever heard John Mayer's song "My stupid mouth"? Makes me wonder if his stupid mouth ever got him in trouble with a date.

So, with all that being said, I want to pose a question. And this question is directed at all the women who read this blog. Men you can answer but I won't hold it against you if you don't. The question is; What are three things a man should NOT do while on a FIRST date? The answers can be from personal experiences, stories you've heard from friends or something you've seen on the boob tube.

I hope to get a lot of replys to this question. After all, I have my first post divorce date Aug 15th. I will be reading your responses VERY intently.