The Dance

Letting go seems to be hard for me. When I see pictures of lost loves happy and busy and moving on in life I wonder why am I not doing the same? It's not that I don't want to. I don't think I know how to. Some people come in our lives for a reason and when they have done what they were supposed to do they leave. I look back on my life before them and wonder if I am better for them being in my life or was it better they never came to me? I remember being sad then. I am sad now. I try not to focus on it but sometimes it just overwhelms me.

They say it's better to love and lost then to never have loved at all. I think I'm still trying to figure that one out. I can't imagine how I would feel now if I didn't have someone to love over these last three years. Maybe she was placed in my life at that time to prevent me from going off the deep end. Maybe I need to not think of it as a break up but as a bridge that was built before me to move me from one part of my life to another. Where would I be now if it weren't for her? I probably would have lost out on so many wonderful things. Like holding hands. Being kissed in the rain. Being told I was loved. Although things did not work out between us I at least had the chance to dance.

Reminds me of the Garth Brooks song: The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance.

Yes, I would have lost out on so many things had she not been in my life. I'm thankful that she was. Still can't help but to be sad that I have to start over. Be alone. Wonder what the next possibilities are. She's going to have to be one hell of a woman though. My last one was amazing. She is on a mighty pedestal and will take a lot for her to brought down. I know it will happen. I just hope it is soon. I must move on even though I miss her terribly. I miss holding her hand. I miss her kiss. And I really miss our dance.