When I hear you say my name.
When your hand touches mine.
I feel my heart skip a beat.
Can it be that you're mine.
The lovely smile upon your face.
Brings joy to my soul.
Knowing that you're with me.
Will never take it's toll.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
When you're standing next to me.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
It's where I want to be.
Times have gotten harder.
There's doubt in the air.
I don't know if we'll make it.
Sometimes it's hard to bare.
Come with me. Sing with me.
Laugh with me. Stay.
One day at a time they say.
With you I'll wait and see.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
When you're standing next to me.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
It's where I want to be.
Looking back upon our lives.
And the struggles we went through.
Not a single day went by my love
I didn't want to be with you.
We'll be together forever my love.
to our end from our birth.
One thing that I am grateful for
Was our heaven on earth.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
When you're standing next to me.
Heaven.
I'm in heaven.
Heaven.
It's where I want to be.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Patience and Virtue
Why am I down today? What's triggered these feelings of emptiness? Seeing my ex? Hearing a love song? Seeing someone get kissed? The scent of a woman? Could be many things I guess. They say patience is a virtue. At times I feel I am running out of both. Patience or Virtue? They seem to go hand in hand cause if I lose patience I may lose virtue. If I remain virtuous I may be lonely forever. Hell of a catch 22.
They say all good things come to those that wait. Just sit idly by and let love land on your shoulder like a butterfly. When you least expect it, it will come. Not sure if I believe that though. Last I looked I don't have any butterflies in my house. So if I don't go outside how will one land on my shoulder? Be at the right place at the right time? Yeah that makes me feel better.
I guess it's safe to say I am in a rut. Not with it. Not feeling it. Getting frustrated. I miss being loved. Having a love song. Being kissed. Smelling her as she walks by. Holding hands. Why do these elude me so? I am not perfect. I am not looking for perfect. Is there really not one for me? Just one! Not asking for much here.
OK. I'll stop bitching. Sometimes I just can't help but let these feelings out. It doesn't make me feel any better but at least I'm not harboring how I feel. I will take a deep breath and remember the words of the prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Or in the words of Epictetus: "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens."
I'll do my best.
They say all good things come to those that wait. Just sit idly by and let love land on your shoulder like a butterfly. When you least expect it, it will come. Not sure if I believe that though. Last I looked I don't have any butterflies in my house. So if I don't go outside how will one land on my shoulder? Be at the right place at the right time? Yeah that makes me feel better.
I guess it's safe to say I am in a rut. Not with it. Not feeling it. Getting frustrated. I miss being loved. Having a love song. Being kissed. Smelling her as she walks by. Holding hands. Why do these elude me so? I am not perfect. I am not looking for perfect. Is there really not one for me? Just one! Not asking for much here.
OK. I'll stop bitching. Sometimes I just can't help but let these feelings out. It doesn't make me feel any better but at least I'm not harboring how I feel. I will take a deep breath and remember the words of the prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Or in the words of Epictetus: "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens."
I'll do my best.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Days On End (Originally Written April 6th, 2009; Modified Sept 04, 2013)
There are days I feel so overwhelmed.
There are days I feel like I can't make it.
There are days I wonder why today?
There are days I wish would never come.
Those are The days I don't want to get out of bed.
Those are The days I just can't sleep.
Those are The days I wonder is this all there is?
Those are The days I can't wait to end.
That's when I wonder why I get so down.
That's when I remember what I have been taught.
That's when I discover what else I need to do.
That's when I am lifted up.
Then I feel moved.
Then I feel strengthened.
Then I feel His peace.
Then I am renewed.
These are the days I wake up for.
These are the days I know I can make it through.
These are the days I know there are no more questions.
These are the days I live for.
There are days I feel like I can't make it.
There are days I wonder why today?
There are days I wish would never come.
Those are The days I don't want to get out of bed.
Those are The days I just can't sleep.
Those are The days I wonder is this all there is?
Those are The days I can't wait to end.
That's when I wonder why I get so down.
That's when I remember what I have been taught.
That's when I discover what else I need to do.
That's when I am lifted up.
Then I feel moved.
Then I feel strengthened.
Then I feel His peace.
Then I am renewed.
These are the days I wake up for.
These are the days I know I can make it through.
These are the days I know there are no more questions.
These are the days I live for.
Nowhere To Stop (originally written April 28, 2010)
It's dark here.
This place where I live.
Huddled in a corner
like a child.
Quiet.
Wondering where life
has gone.
Going in circles
with nowhere to stop.
I am alone.
Loved and lost.
Lost without love.
Where are you?
Come find me.
Listen for my heart
and bring in the light.
This place where I live.
Huddled in a corner
like a child.
Quiet.
Wondering where life
has gone.
Going in circles
with nowhere to stop.
I am alone.
Loved and lost.
Lost without love.
Where are you?
Come find me.
Listen for my heart
and bring in the light.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Sorrow's Prayer
I wish you could see inside,
All the things you want to hide.
The things of your heart.
The things of your mind.
They're tearing you apart.
I see in your eyes and I know,
You carry many sorrows.
Hidden behind that smile
A little girl that wants to grow,
If only for a little while.
She sings and laughs and plays.
Like there's not a care in her days.
Hula hoops and jumping jacks.
When did it all go away?
Memories stored in a sack.
Tears will fall
As you kneel at the wall.
Oh, God in Heaven. Where art thou?
Please answer my call.
With all thy might please show me how.
I wish you could see inside,
All the things you want to hide.
Let them go
And you will grow.
And forever with me abide.
All the things you want to hide.
The things of your heart.
The things of your mind.
They're tearing you apart.
I see in your eyes and I know,
You carry many sorrows.
Hidden behind that smile
A little girl that wants to grow,
If only for a little while.
She sings and laughs and plays.
Like there's not a care in her days.
Hula hoops and jumping jacks.
When did it all go away?
Memories stored in a sack.
Tears will fall
As you kneel at the wall.
Oh, God in Heaven. Where art thou?
Please answer my call.
With all thy might please show me how.
I wish you could see inside,
All the things you want to hide.
Let them go
And you will grow.
And forever with me abide.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Broken Hearts Beating
Have I ever really been in love? Am I really all that different? Demanding? Do I have my sights set so high that I lose focus on what's in front of me? I really can't be that bad of a guy. I've seen worse. I saw this guy today with a long, stringy beard. Dirty. Rough looking. Holes in his jeans. T-Shirt. Holding hands with a beautiful woman. Really? What makes them gel? Is she desperate? Lonely? Is he a saint in wolfs clothing? What does he have? It boggles my mind that two people that look completely different can be together. Be in love.
This week has been a bit difficult. I have been seeing a woman lately that is just amazing. She's beautiful. Gifted. Selfless. Loving. Caring. She smells so good. Gosh. Shes a member of the church. All of these things are important to me. I fell. Not clumsily to the ground or had a relapse of some bad addiction. But in love. Well, what I thought to be love. And there for awhile I thought she loved me too. I was happy. We danced. Held hands. Had deep, meaningful conversations. And when we kissed, oh how I was in heaven. She has beautiful eyes. She knows that and to tell her that is not original. All men have said it to her. But her eyes, to me, are more lovely when they are closed. Sometimes, when we kissed, I would open my eyes to look at her and her eyes were always closed. Eyes closed during a kiss means only one thing; Enjoyment. If she ever opened her eyes when we kissed she would have seen my enjoyment that's for sure.
Lately though things took a turn for the worse. It's hard for me to deal with it. I feel kind of lost. We have talked about it and we agreed that we will back off for awhile to see if this is really what we want. There are many reasons here that I will not go into. Right now we need space. What's hard about that is, she is my friend. I loved getting text messages from her just letting me know what was on her mind at that time. Lyrics to songs she was listening to. Crazy things people say or do at work. All that has suddenly stopped. The other day she posted a picture of herself on facebook. My heart sank as I sat there starring at this beautiful woman and I felt that I couldn't even tell her how pretty she was. Such a shame. I fear I have not only lost a love but also a friend. I hope that this is a temporary thing. She made me happy.
I am a believer in faith and hope. I believe that sometimes things take awhile to mesh together. Pearls are not made overnight. Diamonds need pressure to sparkle. A broken heart needs time to heal. Mine? Hers? I will say both. Love cannot exist in a broken sphere. So as long as the second hands continues to tick on by, I will wait. I will wait for my heart to heal. I will wait for hers. I want to be in love. And maybe, just maybe, this time, I will know what love really is, for the very first time.
This week has been a bit difficult. I have been seeing a woman lately that is just amazing. She's beautiful. Gifted. Selfless. Loving. Caring. She smells so good. Gosh. Shes a member of the church. All of these things are important to me. I fell. Not clumsily to the ground or had a relapse of some bad addiction. But in love. Well, what I thought to be love. And there for awhile I thought she loved me too. I was happy. We danced. Held hands. Had deep, meaningful conversations. And when we kissed, oh how I was in heaven. She has beautiful eyes. She knows that and to tell her that is not original. All men have said it to her. But her eyes, to me, are more lovely when they are closed. Sometimes, when we kissed, I would open my eyes to look at her and her eyes were always closed. Eyes closed during a kiss means only one thing; Enjoyment. If she ever opened her eyes when we kissed she would have seen my enjoyment that's for sure.
Lately though things took a turn for the worse. It's hard for me to deal with it. I feel kind of lost. We have talked about it and we agreed that we will back off for awhile to see if this is really what we want. There are many reasons here that I will not go into. Right now we need space. What's hard about that is, she is my friend. I loved getting text messages from her just letting me know what was on her mind at that time. Lyrics to songs she was listening to. Crazy things people say or do at work. All that has suddenly stopped. The other day she posted a picture of herself on facebook. My heart sank as I sat there starring at this beautiful woman and I felt that I couldn't even tell her how pretty she was. Such a shame. I fear I have not only lost a love but also a friend. I hope that this is a temporary thing. She made me happy.
I am a believer in faith and hope. I believe that sometimes things take awhile to mesh together. Pearls are not made overnight. Diamonds need pressure to sparkle. A broken heart needs time to heal. Mine? Hers? I will say both. Love cannot exist in a broken sphere. So as long as the second hands continues to tick on by, I will wait. I will wait for my heart to heal. I will wait for hers. I want to be in love. And maybe, just maybe, this time, I will know what love really is, for the very first time.
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