Why am I down today? What's triggered these feelings of emptiness? Seeing my ex? Hearing a love song? Seeing someone get kissed? The scent of a woman? Could be many things I guess. They say patience is a virtue. At times I feel I am running out of both. Patience or Virtue? They seem to go hand in hand cause if I lose patience I may lose virtue. If I remain virtuous I may be lonely forever. Hell of a catch 22.
They say all good things come to those that wait. Just sit idly by and let love land on your shoulder like a butterfly. When you least expect it, it will come. Not sure if I believe that though. Last I looked I don't have any butterflies in my house. So if I don't go outside how will one land on my shoulder? Be at the right place at the right time? Yeah that makes me feel better.
I guess it's safe to say I am in a rut. Not with it. Not feeling it. Getting frustrated. I miss being loved. Having a love song. Being kissed. Smelling her as she walks by. Holding hands. Why do these elude me so? I am not perfect. I am not looking for perfect. Is there really not one for me? Just one! Not asking for much here.
OK. I'll stop bitching. Sometimes I just can't help but let these feelings out. It doesn't make me feel any better but at least I'm not harboring how I feel. I will take a deep breath and remember the words of the prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference." Or in the words of Epictetus: "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens."
I'll do my best.
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